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Friday, May 27, 2005

Beloved

To my earthly beloveds, both those who know my secret and those who don't. There are things I so long to tell you but I can't. My beloveds who know my secret, sometimes I see myself through your eyes and I understand your incomprehension and bafflement. You see me as insane, a complete and total loser. But it's ok, I understand. I'd feel the exact same way if these things had happened to someone else. And even if I could tell you I wouldn't know how. And to my beloveds who don't know, you don't know how I long to speak of these things and tell you what I'm going through.

Lord, how long?

I intend to fill this space with my witness, sort it out here, perhaps until the day the Lord lifts my veil of silence, so that I may find myself better prepared for that day.

Lord, forgive my presumptions and errors in anything I write here. Grant that I may learn of my errors and grant the humility that I correct them.

In Christ



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